Much Ado About Making Love With Lesbians | Autostraddle – Zanetti Motori
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It has been a huge week for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

Our very own first part comes to all of us via xojane, the women’s web site went right up by Jane Pratt (my champion)

(I’m serious) of




Entitled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece falls under the “it simply happened if you ask me” function which existed at JANE magazine and is made up largely of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively fascinating individual experiences.

The anonymous author of this portion, just who we’ll contact “Ariel,” is bisexual, but because she readily provides strike tasks to her male lovers but doesn’t date or frequently go-down on women, the woman is, she clarifies, officially, only a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She in addition means herself as “mostly directly” and “straight” at other points for the narrative.) The woman reputation began, she describes, when the woman very first lesbian hookup â?? a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman school â?? went down on her for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it following immediately fled the world fearing her very own inability to execute this type of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted time period.

She writes:

“of course, term got around that she and that I had connected and therefore I would remaining her clinging, which had the peculiar aftereffect of offering me personally folk-heroine standing. Kelly also known as me a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I found myself one. It actually was like some kind of movie conceit where character is seen erroneously as a celebrity and reaches ride in a limo and remain in an elegant resort because of it.”

This it seems that entirely resolved in her own favor, as she romped about in school connecting with many “aggressive kinds which got down regarding proven fact that I was unwilling to leave a lady touch me.” Post-college, she moved on on the internet, where she advertised the lady calm status and sometimes found with ladies for NSA intercourse.

Close to the end she problematically explains that whenever hooking up with a woman she actually is maybe not keen on, she simply shuts her eyes and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Sometimes it may seem like she wishes females to consume the woman out simply because they’re allegedly much better at it than the male is. She


go-down to them but “I am not matchmaking them, and I also don’t believe I would personally want to have my fetish corrupted by looking after a person adequate to hand back.”

I’dnot need to sit near to Ariel on an aircraft, but the woman one-sided sexual activities tend to be consensual and she is just advising a true story of the woman existence, and so I’m not necessarily yes things to make of this (and I’m interested to know what you create from it, if any such thing).

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After that, on Jezebel (via
The Good Guys Venture
) we’ve got
We Married a Lesbian (And I’m some guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended attain crushes on the same variety of woman: the celebrity basketball player, the soccer onward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some weren’t.” The guy wondered:

The facts that drew me oftentimes to women that had been same-sex attracted? It surely wasn’t the stereotypical male fantasy regarding what these people were performing during intercourse, and it also definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho perception that I could turn a gay woman directly.

In areas, the part (which does tred on some stereotypical floor) reminded me personally within this offer from

The Girls Across The Street

which I cited in a write-up about feminine masculinity

“â?¦if we’d to manufacture another generalization about lesbian style, it could be that a lot of us are incredibly drawn to ladies, gay or right, gorgeous or otherwise not, who seem as though capable manage themselves.”

Mcdougal fundamentally marries a lesbian just who introduced as direct, in which he found their particular causing love life to be unsatisfactory. She would not offer him strike tasks and failed to love entrance but joyfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their unique sexless matrimony finished in divorce or separation and a drug relapse (for him), he’s seemingly thoughtful to their ex-wife’s challenge as opposed to labeling the woman as deceptive (as numerous from the commenters carry out):

She had result from a conservative family members who happen deeply embarrassed to have a gay child. She may also have recognized, but did the girl better to hide it, possibly hoping that her feelings might transform. Or she might have been like more than a few women I’ve known, and simply discovered her correct sexual identity after already becoming hitched to a man.

What is redeeming relating to this essay to me that the author’s conception of his personal sex is generally without any the original masculine posturing one might expect in a piece along these lines (the guy even makes reference to himself as “femmy”). Perhaps it really appears that method because guys thus seldom share desiring powerful, athletic, powerful females with short hair; but it’s energizing none the less.

Really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their unique stories, but it’s well worth mentioning that both narratives frequently drive from the concept that bed room behavior could be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s business, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning indication” the guy skipped, when penetration is scarcely an exclusively heterosexual work (it seems more likely Courtney dreaded the closeness of penetration with a person she did not truly want as with, yet , that knows) and dropping in love, in the end, is about the snatch but it is in addition concerning your heart and it’s mainly about having intimate emotions. Those enchanting thoughts are just what converts a hook-up union into a relationship, in the end.

Finally at

we have a sweet story right from pony’s lips â??
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I believe this is actually the first time the “First Time” series features highlighted a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth level, the author confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian feelings for her, along with her best friend reciprocated, and they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian union and they’re still collectively today and the woman is a grown-up inside the armed forces!

This indicates they will have however to get their particular relationship out from the closet, that’s some puzzling, but whatever

. [


: ends up this story had been authored before DADT was actually repealed, even though it just adopted published, for that reason nothing is puzzling occurring here. This is just straight-up sweet in every single method, unequivocally.]

The main focus of this portion (in fact it is really adorable and nice) is on mcdougal’s breakthrough of
exactly what lesbian sex IS

We had never ever gone down on every additional, and that I was confident that is what we’d meant as soon as we mentioned we wanted to make love. (Now we know that there’s more to fucking than slurping a female’s vagina and phoning it a-day.)

She concludes:

I’m sure that a lot of individuals disagree about what virginity way to a gay woman, but virginity is completely personal, and it truly varies according to the person you’re inquiring. Many people might say penetration has to be included, but I think it’s up to the individual dropping his / her virginity. Basically feel I’ve missing my virginity, after that goddammit, I have!

I spent a lot of the morning and afternoon watching word press, trying to puzzle out just what point I could make about these pieces. I was thinking lots about why we’d never ever submit “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this internet site but can’t get past the explanation that I’d fear 50 of you would vow to never return here therefore the remaning many-thousands of you would combat together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heat loss of the market. We envisioned some body distributing “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via e-mail following We dreamed the editorial meeting in which we’d will that tale and all of state “NO” as well.

In looking for a spot to gleam because of these stories, I’ve attempted to figure out what you would consider or state, and I also are unable to, and I also would you like to complete this article quickly to accelerate the whole process of myself finding out what you believe about these tales. Yup, the very first time since beginning Autostraddle, I’ve got little idea what things to state about something. Therefore perhaps i ought to merely want to know â?? what is your own a reaction to these parts?

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